marriage advice from a guy who almost got divorced

hoonist
i don't want to fold the towels

mistermartyrose
looool

hoonist
but i don't want to get divorced either :-D

battal

Basically what happened was my boy told this chick that he liked her tattoo's and her bf started freaking out trying to start shit. My two friends went into a cab and my friend Marge was trying to cool down the situation. The bf was going nuts and started talking shit to me. I was just standing about to get into the cab with a bottle of coke and some leftover nachos in my hand. I called him a bitch multiple times and he came at me and tried to punch me. I dodged it with ease. Then another dude came at me and punched me in the chest. Keep in mind I still had my nachos and the bottle of coke in my hand and had not even thrown anything. His punch literally didn't hurt at all and I started laughing at them. I think this is what really pissed them off because then I got jumped by three dudes. One had me in a headlock and other dudes were pounding away at my face. My friend Marge helped me get out of the headlock and I turned around and clocked a dude straight in the face. It actually reminded me of Mike Tyson's punch-out because of the way my fist connected with his cheek in slow motion. While I was scrambling, my two friends get out of the cab and as soon as they step out they both get clocked in the face and both now have black eyes. They both got off zero punches. This other dude was standing on newspaper machine trying to jump me and I uppercut him in the face and he fell off. Then I got in the cab and called them all bitches and bounced with my friends. Oh I forgot to mention that I was wearing a pink dress shirt with a black vest and black dress pants and these pink nikes hahaha.

awk

Mattr: My grandma is sick and dying
TJ: She had a good run.

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awk

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mistermartyrose (4:35:23 PM): I have diarrhea
mortal enforcer (4:35:23 PM): you always say tomorrow
mistermartyrose (4:35:26 PM): im in a shitty mood
mortal enforcer (4:35:27 PM): yo usaid tomorrow yesterday
mortal enforcer (4:35:29 PM): LOL
mortal enforcer (4:35:31 PM): SHITTY MOOD
mistermartyrose (4:35:35 PM): LOOOOOOOOOOL

"Drugs are bad mmkay"

twilightz0nek9s (5:45:25 PM): yo
mistermartyrose (5:45:43 PM): yo
twilightz0nek9s (5:46:29 PM): you ever take adderal?
mistermartyrose (5:46:30 PM): once
twilightz0nek9s (5:46:48 PM): did u play poker?
twilightz0nek9s (5:46:54 PM): at all
twilightz0nek9s (5:46:58 PM): while u were high from it
mistermartyrose (5:47:03 PM): no
twilightz0nek9s (5:47:22 PM): ive done it a few times
twilightz0nek9s (5:47:26 PM): and done terrible
twilightz0nek9s (5:47:35 PM): but some people think it helps them concentrate
twilightz0nek9s (5:47:49 PM): like i did that the other day
twilightz0nek9s (5:47:59 PM): and played a 20 hour session or something
mistermartyrose (5:48:04 PM): wow
twilightz0nek9s (5:48:15 PM): and lost like 340 dollars at 11 dollar sngs
twilightz0nek9s (5:48:23 PM): i think ive never had a winning session on it
mistermartyrose (5:48:24 PM): loooooool
twilightz0nek9s (5:48:29 PM): i think it makes me play awful
twilightz0nek9s (5:48:30 PM): lol

Nathan tries to go to culinary school...

Nathan: eh kind of gave up

Nathan: im going back to Maryland for the summer session

Nathan: i got denied at Chipotle and that was the last straw

TJ: rofl