Some idiots worst poker moment

Re(1): What has been your worst poker moment? by MilkyPirate on 4/30/2007 18:52

Last year when I had a 400$ BR on PS I was goofing around with a friend in the tourney lobby of WCOOP Event #1 (which was 200+15 Razz). I reg'd for the tourney as a joke to show him "hey look who is in this tourney!" and then I was gonna unreg...unfortunately I forgot that you cannot unregister from a tournament with less than 10 minutes until it starts. I had never played Razz before. I busted so badly and I have not played Razz since.Needless to say blowing half my BR on a "joke" was one of the worst poker experiences I had...but I'm over it (though my friends and I still joke about it...like at our home games we say "hey lets do 200+15 Razz tourney" which is jokes).

AC AGAIN

So i stay over Marty's house and we see hot fuzz. A random girl was waiting outisde in the cold with no ride we obv ran the walk bye without saying hi. So the next day we wake up and i pick up the tropicana player card from Nathan. We go out to a dinner were i get the penne alfredo...what a blow out. So we end the dinner then get to the trop around 7. I buy in for the max at 2/5 and am on my way. Have a pretty boring session where there are no charachters and decide to leave after am up a little over 6. Marty ends up being stuck 3 but were just gonna drive back to AC tommorrow with Gerard. We meet Gerard at the rest stop and were on our way. Apparently Burger King created a pretty unreal burger that involves 4 patties with 3 pieces of chees and bacon on top. If anyone can eat this monster in front of me ill pay for it. So we get to the trop and i end up spoting the team. Me and Gerard decide to run the splits at 2/5. Anyway i somehow put in my stack with a flop of 7 9 5. I have ace 7 which is somehow good. So I bleed for a few hrs and Gerard randomly goes all in a few times. Gerard bluffs a fish off top pair when the board was king 2 3. The guy says hes got Gerard now but Gerard says i got the chips buddy. He keeps trashtalking about how insane he is even though hes losing every pot. We get hungry and run some Goodfellas resturant that was totally empty. Gerard tells some unreal story about how he runs away from a girl when she asks to do jello shots. Like jello shots are apparently the thing to do these days just ask Justin. So we end the session with Marty up i think 640 on the day with me and Gerard up 150. Pretty good weekend gonna take a little break from AC so i can attempt to do good on my finals. Am gonna be running a turning stone trip during the summer so if anyones interested just hit me up on aim.
(spelling edited by Marty)

"imo"

MisterMartyRose: imo= in my opinion
palkpal1: never saw that before
palkpal1: u def just made it up
MisterMartyRose: that's like saying I made up "you're retarded"
palkpal1: i mean
palkpal1: the imo thing
palkpal1: like never seen anyone else type that before
MisterMartyRose: "you're retarded"

Banana

So we get to A.C. around 3 p.m and Gerard wants a banana. He picks out a green banana and I ask what hes doing. He says he just wants a snack before he starts to play. Me and Marty ask why hes picking the one that's not ripe. He says the yellow bananas are too ripe. I just shake my head when he picks the green banana.

Hang!

Cuban313: but i wish my clothes and you were more alike

MisterMartyRose: am not that ugly

MisterMartyRose: ahahah

Cuban313: nah i just wish you both would hang yourself

MisterMartyRose: ahahah

MisterMartyRose: thats good (Tj is on the account)

Justin gets angry again!

palkpal1: so u get the groceries?

Cuban313: i got someone else to

palkpal1: sure....

Cuban313: nice reply

Cuban313: i told this kid i wasnt gonna make the jello shots til tomorrow

Cuban313: but he said he wanted them done tonight

Cuban313: so i told him to do it himself

palkpal1: ooh

palkpal1: howd he take it

Cuban313: he said ok

Cuban313: like what do you want

palkpal1: just striking up a convo

palkpal1: before torney starts

Cuban313: im still doing work

palkpal1: jello shots?

Cuban313: are you retarded

Cuban313: i didnt make them myself because i had to much to do

Cuban313: i have a midterm tomorrow that i havent started studying for because i havent done my hw yet

palkpal1: i seepalkpal1: too many jello shots?

Cuban313: your a fuckin idiot

palkpal1: like i dident force u to do the jello shots

Cuban313: theyre prob still not done

palkpal1: man u need to do hw study exam and jellow shots

palkpal1: gl

Cuban313: ok peace

"Kinda Awk"

Matt Rubin82: tj has my pic
Matt Rubin82: as his desktop
Matt Rubin82: kinda awk
MisterMartyRose: LOLLLLLLL

Glasses

keeptalking27: was studying in libary

keeptalking27: so many hot girls wearing very little clothing

palkpal1: u say hi

keeptalking27: cant

keeptalking27: its the library

keeptalking27: u dont speek

keeptalking27: like

keeptalking27: these girls wear nothing

palkpal1: just get out there

keeptalking27: i just want 2 lik

keeptalking27: fuck 1 in the middle of the room

keeptalking27: is that weird?

keeptalking27: prob is

Cuban313: rofl

palkpal1: i called that a day dream

Cuban313: yeah

Dan

palkpal1: like i would be stunned if he ever payed for anything
palkpal1: like his rents even pay for his weed
MisterMartyRose: lol
MisterMartyRose: so true

Good Morning

keeptalking27 (1:42:48 PM): uh
keeptalking27 (1:43:02 PM): i slept on a floor last night after my roomate physically removed me from my dorm room
palkpal1 (1:43:54 PM): what happened
palkpal1 (1:43:57 PM): he got some play
keeptalking27 (1:44:14 PM): he comes back at 3 am
keeptalking27 (1:44:15 PM): totaly drunk
keeptalking27 (1:44:17 PM): passes out
keeptalking27 (1:44:22 PM): 10 min late some girl comes in
keeptalking27 (1:44:25 PM): and they start making out
keeptalking27 (1:44:29 PM): and im sleepin
keeptalking27 (1:44:34 PM): he wakes me up and hes like leave
palkpal1 (1:44:37 PM): rofl
palkpal1 (1:44:41 PM): u shoulda said n
keeptalking27 (1:44:47 PM): so i try 2 be nice
keeptalking27 (1:44:58 PM): im like ok i dont mind but im rly tired and im not sleeping ne place but my bed
keeptalking27 (1:45:02 PM): he goes come back in 15 min
keeptalking27 (1:45:06 PM): i go back 45 min later
keeptalking27 (1:45:07 PM): hes like
keeptalking27 (1:45:09 PM): come back in 10
palkpal1 (1:45:11 PM): lol
keeptalking27 (1:45:13 PM): i come back in 15
keeptalking27 (1:45:27 PM): at which point he begins to physically and verbally harass me
keeptalking27 (1:45:33 PM): then he pushes me out of the room
keeptalking27 (1:45:37 PM): so i had my key this time
keeptalking27 (1:45:39 PM): opne the door
keeptalking27 (1:45:50 PM): and im like ok illl leave but im takin shit w/ me
keeptalking27 (1:45:52 PM): so i leave
keeptalking27 (1:45:55 PM): like
keeptalking27 (1:45:58 PM): wtf was is upposed 2 do
keeptalking27 (1:46:01 PM): the kid is huge
keeptalking27 (1:46:11 PM): he takes all kinds of protein and shit and works out 3 hrs a day
palkpal1 (1:46:26 PM): u obv need to make a stand
keeptalking27 (1:46:31 PM): like
palkpal1 (1:46:31 PM): hes not gonna beat u up
keeptalking27 (1:46:35 PM): am i supposed 2 go 2 the ra
keeptalking27 (1:46:41 PM): or is that a gay thing 2 do
palkpal1 (1:46:48 PM): u cant go to the ra
palkpal1 (1:46:53 PM): thats really gay
keeptalking27 (1:46:58 PM): he was like u r such a fag all u do is play poker u never socalize u should have some firends floot 2 crahs on
palkpal1 (1:46:59 PM): like u need to handle it between the two
keeptalking27 (1:47:03 PM): yeah i figured i cant go 2 the ra
palkpal1 (1:47:05 PM): like if u dont like the roomate ask for a change
keeptalking27 (1:47:07 PM): the ra does live right next 2 me
keeptalking27 (1:47:15 PM): so when i went into my room at 11 am
keeptalking27 (1:47:17 PM): he was like
keeptalking27 (1:47:20 PM): wut happend last night
keeptalking27 (1:47:22 PM): so i played it cool
keeptalking27 (1:47:25 PM): i was like nothin
keeptalking27 (1:47:28 PM): he was kinda drunk
keeptalking27 (1:47:35 PM): and i must have said something 2 offend him
keeptalking27 (1:47:36 PM): its cool
keeptalking27 (1:47:40 PM): like he was passe dout
keeptalking27 (1:47:47 PM): so idk wut happens when i go back 2 the room
keeptalking27 (1:47:53 PM): im at the libary now
keeptalking27 (1:47:54 PM): doin work
palkpal1 (1:47:57 PM): oh
palkpal1 (1:48:03 PM): thought u and your roomate were tight
keeptalking27 (1:48:35 PM): like
keeptalking27 (1:48:39 PM): we never rly interact
keeptalking27 (1:48:46 PM): i always sleep poker or study
keeptalking27 (1:48:57 PM): he always goes 2 gym or chills w/ these fucking dumb potheads

MattR goes shopping

Matt Rubin82 (4:32:11 PM): woman freaked out today
Matt Rubin82 (4:32:16 PM): at the supermarket
palkpal1 (4:33:34 PM): why
Matt Rubin82 (4:32:24 PM): i was ordering some cold cuts
Matt Rubin82 (4:32:27 PM): lady before me goes
Matt Rubin82 (4:32:28 PM): im next
Matt Rubin82 (4:32:30 PM): lady goes
Matt Rubin82 (4:32:35 PM): NO UR NOT I WAS HERE FIRST
Matt Rubin82 (4:32:35 PM): NO UR NOT I WAS HERE FIRST
Matt Rubin82 (4:32:41 PM): then takes her cart
Matt Rubin82 (4:32:50 PM): and bashes it into the refrigerated cheese section
Matt Rubin82 (4:32:54 PM): and starts screaming
Matt Rubin82 (4:32:56 PM): I WAS NEXT
Matt Rubin82 (4:33:04 PM): then she hits the salad bar w/ her cart
palkpal1 (4:34:18 PM): no way
Matt Rubin82 (4:33:06 PM): then leaves
Matt Rubin82 (4:33:07 PM): yep

Pretty Nice

InsaneSublime (10:20:37 PM): modo went down again

Matt Rubin82 (10:20:48 PM): yeah it goes down more than ur girl

A Day In The Life Of ActionJeff

jgarzoid: so
jgarzoid: im at the bank depositing some euros
jgarzoid: and my checking account is pretty juicy because I just had a UB wire go through, and I need the write the IRS a big check (over $100k for the sake of this story)
jgarzoid: the woman at the desk goes and asks
jgarzoid: why do you have so much money in your checking account?
jgarzoid: "I have to pay taxes"
jgarzoid: "yeah, but THAT much?"
jgarzoid: "yes."
jgarzoid: "WOW. Do you own a business or something?"
jgarzoid: "yeah, sort of"
jgarzoid: she looks at me skeptically, kind of impressed
jgarzoid: "omg, you really should pay quarterly"
jgarzoid: I eye her and nonchalantly reply
jgarzoid: "That is my quarterly payment."


MisterMartyRose: check the blog
palkpal1: pretty unreal
palkpal1: like i owed $100
palkpal1: guess he owed a tad bit more
MisterMartyRose: yeah maybe

Dont get it.

So i need to find my shit so my truck can get inspected tomorrow. Apparently i have no idea what a owners card looks like. So I come back in and my dads pretty upset. He calls me a joke and that i owe him 50 since its so stupid. So he goes looking threw his stuff and i realize I just bypassed the owners card. I grab it bring it inside and my dad just rips it up. Am in awe now and don't understand. Then he shows me the new one that came in the mail and just didn't get why he got so upset...

Nathan's Night

MisterMartyRose: how was the rave?
da7cardstud: fuckin sweet
da7cardstud: almost got arrested for fucking this girl in my car
da7cardstud: the worst blue balls
da7cardstud: u can ever get
da7cardstud: is when a cop opens the door of ur ca
rda7cardstud: and ur about to get down to buisness
da7cardstud: and ur tripping balls on ecstasy
da7cardstud: and he says stand against the fuckin car and dont move
da7cardstud: and ur pants are down
MisterMartyRose: lol
MisterMartyRose: lo0llll
da7cardstud: i was quite literally caught with my pants down
da7cardstud: cop is like how old are u
da7cardstud: im like 18
MisterMartyRose: looooooool
da7cardstud: cops like how old is she
da7cardstud: shes like 26
MisterMartyRose: LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL
da7cardstud: hes like "congrats"

who else...

MisterMartyRose: yo sex machine what are you doing tonight
da7cardstud: raving
MisterMartyRose: really?
da7cardstud: yea
MisterMartyRose: where
da7cardstud: philly
MisterMartyRose: are you a real person?
da7cardstud: yes.. but i dont think i get ur meaning

WTF!!

Matt Rubin82: so the sonne story

Matt Rubin82: sonne apparently is out on a double date w/ ziegler i believe

Matt Rubin82: they dinner have a decent meal

Matt Rubin82: then she wants to go back to his place

Matt Rubin82: so he says sure

Matt Rubin82: they get there

Matt Rubin82: and he breaks out the chess board

Matt Rubin82: figuring he can get her excited over his chess prowess

Matt Rubin82: so apparently she was playing unreal bad

Matt Rubin82: and sonne was getting frustrated

Matt Rubin82: how could he date a girl this dumb he thought

Matt Rubin82: finally after one more terrible move

Matt Rubin82: he had enoughMatt Rubin82: and drove her home

Matt Rubin82: complete silence on the way home

Baum Again!

da7cardstud: i have the bankroll management skills of a retarded person
palkpal1: true

da7cardstud: my bankroll management skills are only matched by my ability on the basketball court

Baum

da7cardstud: i wonder if ill ever turn around my game again

da7cardstud: or if ill just go like 20k in the hole and call up gamblers anonymous

Ballin

Instead of getting a job, I just play poker every couple weeks to make some paper, usually in AC

Pics of the Captain and Miss 69 sooted

Random Barn

This friend is on his last counter and hes about to vanish away.(anonymous)

I am Catholic

So John Fiorella is trying to pick up a girl but needs a wing man so he asks Gerard to talk to the friend. They start to talk and the girl is politically involved and asks Gerard if he is republican or a democrat and Gerard responds with hes Catholic. The girl immediately interrupts her friend and John is wondering what went wrong. Osyp just says hell talk to him later about it.

Captain Morgan

Once again we are at the pink game at the trop and I'm in early position and look down at kings. I raise and 2 seats away from me TJ 3 bets me. It folds around to the big blind who happened to be this guy we dubbed "the Captain" (because of his Captain Morgan hat) so obviously calls too. I cap it with the kings and tj and the captain both call. The flop comes 7Q7 with two spades and the Captain leads out, I raise him, and TJ raises me. The captain calls allin and the turn completes the flush draw so I check. TJ also checks and the river is an offsuit 5 and I check again. Before TJ can check the captain shows one of the cards in his hand and TJ's eyes get really big and I look over to the captain and he's showing a seven of hearts. TJ then checks and I show TJ my kings and oddly enough TJ has kings as well so we both flip em up. The only hand I can put the captain on here is A7 or 77 but he sheepishly flips over his other card which happens to be a 3 of hearts. 7 3 sooooooted, nice play captain.

Public Warning

Just don't go to grindhouse the movie is fucken terrible. The first part is ok at best and the second is a movie about talking. Like pointltess conversation for 45 minutes. JUST DONT GO TO GRINDHOUSE and save your money.

UNREAL!

So its me, Marty, and Matt playing the pink game at the tropicana. Marty raises from early under the gun with 6 7 clubs and Matt raises with queens i cap with the rockets. We get called 4 bets cold by an Asian girl with kq diamonds and 3 bets by Asian girl with 6 9 diamonds. On flop we cap it again which was 6 10 4 with two diamonds. On the turn threes a king and Matt raises i re raise and everyone calls. Rivers a 6 and Marty comes out raising I get pretty excited because it means he has a 6 we all call. The girl with 6 9 scoops the pot are hearts sink. The two Asian girls high five each other and say yea girl. The the one calls us out on collaborating and cheating. Was pretty unreal.

Poker with Matt R

So we decide to run poker at ac on Thursday so i pick up everyone which is me, Lenny, Matt, and Marty. We go out to eat at tgi Fridays which is Matt R's favorite spot. We get to trop around 5 and sign up for are games. I decide to run 7.5 15 with Matt R and Marty and Lenny run 1 2 nl. Me and Matt run a 4 bet pre and apparently we run into king jack. The guy 3 bets when the flops ace 5 1o and rive res the king and scoops a large one. Like the table became unreal and i get hit with the deck and am up 200. I kinda tilt from the bad beats and throw 400 away while Matt R is stacking everyone. I stop playing the game around 4 am and go over and run some 25 while am down 170. I end up winning little over 500 playing 2 5 in an hour. Like someone donked off there chips with top pair when i had a set was where i got most of the money. So we end up running the dinner and getting the eats. Ended me up 325 Matt up 250 Marty -150 Lenny-600. The game had some pretty insane stories that are going to be posted l8r.

Must be Nice

Matt Rubin82: being tall is kinda nice

palkpal1: yea

Matt Rubin82: if i was chad or that brett kid

Matt Rubin82: id jump

...

ChrisLloyd: like, i dont have a type per se, but if i did, it would be girls with low self esteem

Matt R and Ac

Matt R is running atlantic city with a few friends and is at a table with Osyp. I think they are running 10 20 and Matt R gets involved with a hand. He has a pair of 8s and ends up floaping a set but theres 2 diamonds. Its 4 bet and they go to the turn and its 3 bet. On the river the flush hits and Matt R just shakes his head and check calls. The guy hit it and he does his Hellmuth expression where he gets up and shakes his head about how bad the guy is. The guy is kinda ashamed and apologizes but Matt R just keeps going. He decides thats enough and gets up. When hes leaving the guy who hit the flush says "hey buddy, thanks for your money." Matt R's face just explodes why'll osyp is holding him back. Apparently osyp saved matt R a beating. The guy was apparently a body builder...

N Baum

Auto response from palkpal1: chillen with gerard's sis

da7cardstud: how accurate is the away message?

GP MASS

Well we schedule to go around 2 pm so i talk to Matt R the day before and he claims we wont get to the GP until 11pm. So the next day i wake up late and get to Marty's just in time and am waiting for Espoo to call me and tell me he got to Princeton. So at 3pm i get the call espoo apparently overslept and just woke up. I tell Espoo will prob just pick him up l8r. I call up Chad and tell him that were just gonna leave at 7. He responds with "are u fuck en kidding me" we need to leave now so am like whatever i guess so. We get to Chad's and then were off to pick up Espoo. We hit a little traffic and had to reduce to 0 for a little while and get to espoos at 6 then we run the eats. After the eats we go and end up at the GP at 11pm. Matt R apparently had the read. We end up pulling an all night er between me, espoo, and Marty. We watch some mtv dating shows and then into the blue with Jessica Alba. After the movie we just go downstairs since we are starving and fond out breakfast is not until 7am. We chill then snag some breakfast and then go to the GP. Marty wins a money draft while am just chill en. We end up getting blown away at the GP at are last match we got 1percent ed. Like they ripped ripped and ripped then extended the hand like it was a good game. I just refuse like my normal scumbag self. After that we end up going out to eat at Outback with me, Marty, Matt, espoo, Matt's teammate and chad. We all order and get ready to eat. The blooming onion was somehow burnt, like could not believe it. Then my salad was pretty terrible cause it was still frozen. We get back to the site.We end up going shopping for Gadiel who treated for some beer. He wanted some vodka but apparently no alcohol unless you have a Mass drivers licension. Was pretty unreal. So we get back and Espoo goes to do his thing and we just run a booster draft. Like me Matt R and Marty brought it home even though we barely squeaked. We go back to the room and pass out wake up the next day and basically bounce. Another solid weekend for yours truly. Prop on Matt R and gerard top 4ing.

Change Your Ways Osyp

So osyp and Pnaps finish playing the game and end up winning. Then osyp shakes there hands. The one kid grabs his hand and says " Osyp it is not to late to repent for Jesus Christ is comming." Osyp gets really freaked out and just moves from the table and tells everyone he knows. It turns out the kids dident run red or black cause the colors are against god's will.