UMass trip report

My day started with getting on the bus to go see my friend Christian aka lank monsta at UMass. On the bus I listened to a podcast called the two jacks in the hole and it's hilarity caused me to bust out laughing on multiple occasions. I texted TJ and Lily about the awkwardness.
Upon arrival I caught up with C crack the don as we watched some TV in his room. After that we went to his friends room and smoked some herb. His friends were mad chill and I'm pretty excited to come back and visit.

***WARNING***
This report is only my account of what happened...I apologize for any information I divulge that is incorrect.

We went back to Christian and DJ's room and started playing some asshole. I hadn't played asshole since summer camp so I got crushed as everyone else was on top of their game. Eventually I caught on avoided the house rule of if you're the asshole for three times in a row you have to wear something absurd until you're not the asshole anymore.

One of the kids was not so lucky and had to wear Christian's Yankee fitted (he's a hardcore Red Sox fan like everyone else there obv). After we played asshole we busted out the rum. I think it went down so smooth because it was kept in the freezer.

Christian's friend whose name was Meg came into our room and was already trashed (keep in mind this was like 6pm). People were fucking with her pretty badly since she was so gone...I did not approve.

Next we went to the UMass hockey game. I flashed some girls ID for the free entry and we got some food. The game was a lot of fun because the stadium was packed. I hadn't gone to a hockey game in awhile and forgot how much fun it was.

UMass won because they are sick nasty this year and because their fans are crazy. Their chants are really funny because no matter what game you are at they add a "Yankees suck" to the end of it.

After the game we took the bus to this house party. The house was big and there were a ton of people in the basement. This is where things start to get pretty hazy.

I remember buying myself and Christian a cup. I remember seeing three girls and being like let me buy you ladies beers. Then I couldn't find them so I just drank it all myself.

Then shit got completely lost in my memory and this is just what I've heard from people after the fact.

I called Lily twice and left her messages of me freestyling.

I lost my phone probably at the party or god knows where. Luckily, I somehow got back to the dorm thanks to Christians roommate DJ (I think it was the bus).

Christian was busy spitting game at some girls so I would've been completely fucked without DJ since I didn't know anyone.

When I got back to the dorm I just did not stop puking. I puked on the floor. I puked in the garbage. I puked on the futon. I went in the bathroom puked in the toilet. I puked on the bathroom floor.

There was puke on my shoes. There was puke on back of my jeans. There was puke on my sweatshirt.

Possibly the funniest part was the puke on my boxers. It was completely covering my crotch area. Yes, those boxers are no longer with us.

People told me that I was just laying on the bathroom floor naked in a pile of my on vomit. I'm pretty sure I wasn't naked but still hilarious.

When I went to brush my teeth in the morning (I awoke at 10:30am when we got back after 4:00am) I could hear the girls on the floor talking about me. They said, "I didn't know what to do" "He was on the floor naked" "Yeah, he's not my friend but still."

My head hurt so bad I just stayed in the shower for an hour letting the hot water rush over me. I have no idea how I got into the futon to sleep though in the first place. Well, that is the conclusion to my tale and I'm pretty sure UMass will never forget the adventures of MRose.