gerard bust a nut

palkpal1: can u hook marty up with your sister

GFabs5: she says she no assciaote with 18 year old

palkpal1: hes hung like 25

palkpal1: so>

palkpal1: ?

GFabs5: who sit on bench instead of playing hocky, he all cocky, he look like a tall scarnny horse jokckey, try to friend request my sister, nice try, but he got fucking Denined, he needs to pop is zit shut the fuck up and just sit, and that game hockey he plays he should just fucking quit. Hung like he's 25 he sucks so bad at magic he plays fucking holy day to stay alive, after he loses he looks to see how much time is left, fucking 45. nice room you and potato head i bet marty gonna get it in the ass when they sleep bed, enough said.

Ravitz. What a Pile

Matt Rubin82: he dropped out of college

Matt Rubin82: fresh yr

Matt Rubin82: after

palkpal1: like hes the worst human being ive ever been around

Matt Rubin82: 48 hrs

Matt Rubin82: he didnt even stay

Matt Rubin82: the 2nd night

Matt Rubin82: he moved into his dorm

Matt Rubin82: then next day

Matt Rubin82: goes

Matt Rubin82: nope

Matt Rubin82: not for me

Matt Rubin82: and calls mom and says

Matt Rubin82: im leaving

palkpal1: geuss he got beat up that bad

palkpal1: are you really surprised

Matt Rubin82: lol

Matt Rubin82: 48 hrs?!?!

Matt Rubin82: who drops out of school

palkpal1: to many girls around

Matt Rubin82: having never been to a class yet

Matt Rubin82: lol

palkpal1: he dident know what to do

BRETT!!

BRETT9LISA: so
BRETT9LISA: i have decicded
BRETT9LISA: to get
BRETT9LISA: involved with kids in school
BRETT9LISA: and find a girl friend
BRETT9LISA: :\
BRETT9LISA: like
BRETT9LISA: seriously
BRETT9LISA: get my life together
BRETT9LISA: il obv stil modo
BRETT9LISA:
BRETT9LISA: but
BRETT9LISA: i cant
BRETT9LISA: do this crap
BRETT9LISA: anymore
BRETT9LISA: all day night modo
BRETT9LISA: is bad for me
BRETT9LISA: my soul
BRETT9LISA: ....

WHAT A GUY

El Smurfs: when does cuban steal

palkpal1: he steals for the poor

palkpal1: hes robin hood

El Smurfs: rofl

Family!

Cuban313: i have to move back in

palkpal1: true

Cuban313: and start my new term

palkpal1: true

Cuban313: which id rather not do late sunday night

palkpal1: true

Cuban313: especially because id have no idea howd id get all the stuff i have to bring back to drexel there

Cuban313: since my mom will be in soith carolina

palkpal1: true

palkpal1: like just move in mon

Cuban313: my mom will be in south carolina

Cuban313: the house will be locked

Cuban313: theyre kicking out my 2 sisters

palkpal1: they came out with a new thing called a key

Cuban313: who will live at a friends for a few days or something

palkpal1: have u heard of it

Cuban313: you dont know the situation

Cuban313: my moms bf is really insecure about his stuff

Cuban313: so everytime they go soomewhere

palkpal1: u bragged about stealing

Cuban313: me and my sisters have to go somewhere else

Cuban313: he changes the code for the alarm syste,

palkpal1: ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL

Nathan Baum at his Best

da7cardstud: now im out of $
da7cardstud: just as well
da7cardstud: i have hw to do

A New Friend

So we end up traveling to PT Charleston which was me Espoo and Justin. I ended up driving threw the night at around 100 since there are no cops in sight and a speed limit of 70. We get there pretty early and were all pretty out of it. Me and Espoo stayed awake while Justin got some solid sleep. So we get to Mark's room and we see there play testing we just set are shit down and start to watch. We are ready to leave and Espoo is like got to iron my shirt. Star Wars kid finds it really funny that a person would iron a shirt. Hes like Espoo your best Friends here the iron right behind you. Espoo just shrugs it off and is like this loser has prob never even ironed a shirt. So we leave and get to the site. On the way back we enter the room and Star Wars kid is waiting and just shoves the iron in Espoo's face and says your best friends been lonely. So Espoo just starts to spazz on the kid punching him a few times when he begs for forgivness .(Well that's what i daydreamed happened but he just let it go cause the kids an idiot unfortunately.)

Thanks for the Tip Sir!

Matt Rubin82: at tropicana
Matt Rubin82: gerard apparently heard the dealer say
Matt Rubin82: "must be a lot of jews here today"
Matt Rubin82: i didnt hear it or i wouldnt have tipped
Matt Rubin82: so anyways
Matt Rubin82: gerard is winning a few hands
Matt Rubin82: w/ trhis dealer
Matt Rubin82: and not tipping
Matt Rubin82: and the dealer is really pushing the issue
Matt Rubin82: rolling his eyes
Matt Rubin82: and shaking his head at this regular asian girl
Matt Rubin82: he knew at our table
Matt Rubin82: and i think at one point hes like
Matt Rubin82: thanks for the tip
Matt Rubin82: to gerard
Matt Rubin82: obv being sarcastic
Matt Rubin82: then gerard goes up and gets the floor
Matt Rubin82: and the guy gets spoken to
palkpal1: he get comped?
Matt Rubin82: nope
Matt Rubin82: he was hoping

Glasses

keeptalking27: im done

keeptalking27: i quit poker

keeptalking27: i got like prison raped 2day

keeptalking27: i spent 6 hrs

keeptalking27: and went deep 2 times

keeptalking27: and just got fucked

So Disgusting...

Mufasa7812 (11:22:46 PM): would you ever fuck a girl
Mufasa7812 (11:22:49 PM): that was born a dude
Matt Rubin82 (11:23:24 PM): ...
Matt Rubin82 (11:23:31 PM): did u find some craigslist post?

Atlantic City March 24

So i end up deciding to run Atlantic City over some lame PTQ. I end up waking up late so i call up Justin and tell him am leaving hes apparently still sleeping. So i obv get lost trying to pick him up get there a little late. Since i overslept i have to wait for my Mom to get home with the car. She says that she will be home at around 4. So Justin takes a nap while i watch some tv. It gets to 4 and my moms still not home. I left my cell phone in the car and am a little to lazy to pick it up so we just watch tv for another 3 hrs. Saw a good movie Just Friends would suggest u rent it out. So i get to the car and realize my mom just went to a friends house and never came home so i drive over and were on our way. I come to pick up Nick and then go to Marty's for him and Nathan. We need to get something to eat so we stop at Olive Garden which is obv packed. Am swayed to go to a Dennys were the night starts to go sour. I say the food blows and am going to lose inf now which i eventually do. We order and i end up only getting half of what i ordered man gotta love it. So throughout the dinner Nathan asks for money for smokes i refuse so hes fucked. We end up leaving for Atlantic City and get there around 11. Nathan is like we need to 007 it and go in different waves so we don't get carded. I feel like am taking orders from a fuck en idiot. So me Justin and Nick are wave one and Marty and Nathan are wave two. We all are able to get in and things start to go well. One guy at my table gets pretty depressed from the bad beats and starts to get wasted. He gets a bad beat and says" after your done fucking me over why don't u just do my finance" who was also at the table. She shakes her head and it continues. I get a frozen wave of cards and under the gun i snag kings and its looking good. I get re raised by some fish who re raised with queen jack suited the hand before so am looking for a double. He ends up having rockets so am down 100 and re buy. Night continues i basically get blinded off get bored play some terrible hands. I call a guys push of 60 pre with 5s he had 10 4 off. So its around 1 am and Nathan comes over and needs a loan am like what happened he tells me some tear jerks so i give him 100. He comes back an hr late and hes one and done. Then everyone wants to leave around 5 am am pretty upset since am stuck 300 and am like just wait. I end up on leaving at 6am stuck 200 and being pretty bitter. Apparently at the other table a player got bitter and started requesting people to get carded so i guess got out in time. The day ended with Justin up 1k Marty at 400 Nick -120 Me -200 Nathan -500. A funny part of the cigarettes i didn't give Nathan was the fact he needed to buy them at the Casino for 10 dollars. He ends up getting them thrown away on the ride home from Nick. Way home Nathan starts trying to get people to run money drafts for 500 or races. I drop everyone off and get home at 10 30. So after a nice 12 hrs am down 200 and could not be any happier.

Candy Shop...

Today at work, one of my co-workers was telling me a story about how he picked up a chick and had sex with her while he was still on the clock. I was pretty surprised when he told me this because he isn't really all there if you know what I mean, and isn't exactly a "looker." When he told me the girl was absolutely hammered it made his story a thousand times more believable. He said he brought the girl upstairs into the candy room and they started going at it. When all of a sudden the girl stops looks up at my co-worker and says,"OMG YOU'RE NOT MY BOYFRIEND" and puts on all her clothes and leaves.

2 Hours Before Prom...

MisterMartyRose [4:02 PM]:so...how important is the coursage

How Could We Make This Stuff Up?!?

Matt Rubin82: i was contemplating

Matt Rubin82: marrying a nigger

Matt Rubin82: for a while

Matt Rubin82: to be at the family

Matt Rubin82: gatherings

Matt Rubin82: since black people are fucking hilarious

palkpal1: i see

Dumpster Diving...

Matt Rubin82: this one kid thats a friend of a friend i know
Matt Rubin82: plays 30-60 6 tables on party
Matt Rubin82: well he did
Matt Rubin82: and dumpster dived
Matt Rubin82: to save $ on food?!?!?!
MisterMartyRose: lol
MisterMartyRose: looooooool
MisterMartyRose: looooool
Matt Rubin82: he was actually
Matt Rubin82: the most absurd kid ever
Matt Rubin82: hes veganmav on 2+2
Matt Rubin82: if u ever read that site
Matt Rubin82: he went to japan
MisterMartyRose: okay
Matt Rubin82: for a year
Matt Rubin82: on no money
Matt Rubin82: to learn the culture
Matt Rubin82: sleeping in the street
Matt Rubin82: so he goes to japan doesnt speek an inkling
Matt Rubin82: of japanese
MisterMartyRose: lol
Matt Rubin82: with maybe $100
MisterMartyRose: what a guy
Matt Rubin82: in his pocket
Matt Rubin82: and a backpack
MisterMartyRose: full of what
Matt Rubin82: unreal
Matt Rubin82: like prob 1 change of clothes
Matt Rubin82: and his laptop
Matt Rubin82: to play poker
MisterMartyRose: lol
MisterMartyRose: so howd he do
Matt Rubin82: hes still alive
MisterMartyRose: HAHA
Matt Rubin82: man i gotta find his site
Matt Rubin82: he has all these pics
Matt Rubin82: of his trip to japan
MisterMartyRose: no way
Matt Rubin82: "this is a nice jap who picked me up hitchhiking
MisterMartyRose: howd he do pokerwise
Matt Rubin82: yep actually ill look right now i have it saved in email
Matt Rubin82: i think he does well
Matt Rubin82: somehow
Matt Rubin82: well he doesnt have much living expenses
MisterMartyRose: haha
MisterMartyRose: how does he get the poker $ tho
MisterMartyRose: if he's living on the street
Matt Rubin82: i think he actyually
Matt Rubin82: HAS money
Matt Rubin82: he just sees no reason to spend it
MisterMartyRose: lol
MisterMartyRose: nice logic
Matt Rubin82: so hes in japan
Matt Rubin82: dumpster diving
Matt Rubin82: and hitchhiking
Matt Rubin82: can u imagine that
Matt Rubin82: pretty much worst nightmare
Matt Rubin82: ever
Matt Rubin82: looking at my old email
Matt Rubin82: i got it saved somewhere
MisterMartyRose: like treat yourself to a big blind buddy
Matt Rubin82: hope its still up
MisterMartyRose: lol
Matt Rubin82: one time
Matt Rubin82: he was on his way
Matt Rubin82: to a dumpster
MisterMartyRose: lol
Matt Rubin82: he had frequently dove in
Matt Rubin82: and he saw
Matt Rubin82: that a new homeless family
MisterMartyRose: LOL
Matt Rubin82: had taken it over
Matt Rubin82: and he was furious
MisterMartyRose: haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahaah
MisterMartyRose: laughing so hard
Matt Rubin82: i heard he doesnt actually dive in
Matt Rubin82: more like rummages through it
MisterMartyRose: lol
MisterMartyRose: he prob perfected the technique
Matt Rubin82: one time, he took his
Matt Rubin82: "dumpster pizza"
Matt Rubin82: he called it
Matt Rubin82: to my friends house
Matt Rubin82: and wanted to cook it
MisterMartyRose: lol
MisterMartyRose: "I want to get the germs off by heating it"
Matt Rubin82: ColumbusPatrick: There's this game, it doesn't really have a name, or a goal, you can play it with 2 - a lot of people. There's no way to win or lose, and no real goal. You push each other over, and climb one another, and fall over and run away and run toward, jump and roll, and climb trees. Please play with me.
I MEAN WHATEVER.. FUCK TV, MOVIES, COMPUTER, CONSUMERISM, FAST FOOD, CARS, POLICE, GOVERNENT, PROPERTY, LAWS, TIME, SOCIETAL NORMS, i just wanna have fun, be myself, not worry about stupid meaningless shit, i wanna play outside, stay up late doign nothing, meet new people everyday, play with everyone, use my room as just a place to sleep, learn from others, and from experience, and from life, not from a text book, i wanna travel , and go wherever i want to whenever i want with whoever i want, any time any place anywhere anybody, well now that the dream is stated, i'll go back to normal life of classes, work, rules, structure, police etc..
Matt Rubin82: lol
Matt Rubin82: that was his life slogan
MisterMartyRose: lol
Matt Rubin82: like completely insane
Matt Rubin82: man im having trouble finding it
MisterMartyRose: I was laughing so hard
MisterMartyRose: at the "furious" part

LONE STAR could not find an Outback

The adventure starts when I Tj Palkon start to drive home from Atlantic City. In the car with me was Lenny and a fellow named Nathan Baum. We were all pretty pumped from the experience since i was up 300 Lenny snagged 200 and Nathan was up 800. We all decided that Outback would be the correct play. We call up Marty Rose and he finds us an Outback so we somehow are gonna live the dream. A few minutes later we realize the dream was just a nightmare so we decide to settle for an Olive Garden which is obv packed so we go into the almost empty Lone Star. There food really is the pits. We decide that the big winner will pay for the evening and he has a sense of accomplishments. He goes from eating out of the garbage to buying people dinner. Me and Lenny basically order as much as possible and we pig out. Behind us there is apparently an attractive younger women which i can not see but with a butterball friend. As life would be that's how it seems to work in this universe. Nathan keeps saying that shes cute and after a few minutes of convincing i get him to run some shenanagins. He decides that he should order them some dessert. I tell him to go with the sunday and three spoons so he goes over and trys some. He is smarter then that so he tells the waitress that we would pay for any dessert that they would want. We get are dinner and everything is going well. The foods a little shaky and then i hear a WHAAAT! It turns out the girls were a little freaked out from the offer. They immediately ask for the check which has Nathan feeling like a douche. He puts his head down in shame as the girls leave. They end up taking the long route so they do not have to walk by are table. The ugly friend who I would prob fuck after a long game of cards gives us a stare down which was just awkward. I ask the waitress what happened while Nathan is pretty embarrassed. He admits that him and the ladies are hopeless and we just get the check. I ask her if it was a smart idea and she said they were just a little shy. Even Nathan knows when someone just wants there tip. So we get up and leave with two people in an amazing mood while one is embarrassed and lost some of his manliness.

Matt Rubin82: one time Gerard lost his wallet
Matt Rubin82: for a week
Matt Rubin82: then it miraculously appeared
Matt Rubin82: under his bed
MisterMartyRose: lol
MisterMartyRose: loooooooooool
MisterMartyRose: "I just don't get it. I thought I looked EVERYWHERE!"
Matt Rubin82: lol

**Gerard wondering where he lost his wallet(second time he lost it)**

GFabs5 (7:52:41 PM): i think a.) i was running for ambulance
GFabs5 (7:52:45 PM): and it falls out
GFabs5 (7:52:52 PM): b.) i put on table and walk away
GFabs5 (7:52:59 PM): c.) i put on car and walk away
GFabs5 (7:53:07 PM): d.) i go to bathroom and lose it
GFabs5 (7:53:10 PM): like honestly
GFabs5 (7:53:13 PM): no clue

It turns out, Gerard lost his wallet at a church, and the priest called him up so it could be returned. How lucky.



MisterMartyRose: one day
MisterMartyRose: I was walking home from work
MisterMartyRose: I see nathan baum and this random sifting through a trash can
Matt Rubin82: baum dives?
Matt Rubin82: lolol
MisterMartyRose: they get their hands on a pizza box
MisterMartyRose: and get all excited
MisterMartyRose: they open
MisterMartyRose: the box
MisterMartyRose: but find nothing
MisterMartyRose: then pout
Matt Rubin82: lol
Matt Rubin82: who dumpster dives
MisterMartyRose: at this point they see me
MisterMartyRose: and I confront them
MisterMartyRose: they openly admit it saying "we were hungry"
Matt Rubin82: lol
Matt Rubin82: nice excuse

In the beginning...

keeptalking27: ne way girls dont say no 2 me keeptalking27: b/c i dont give them a chance 2 keeptalking27: b/c i hardly talk 2 girls or ppl in general keeptalking27: i cant be rejected

Cuban313: a bunch of people are going to this kids familys house thats there Cuban313: to like drink and camp and shit palkpal1: girls and guys palkpal1: or just guys Cuban313: guys

da7cardstud: talked to her a bit da7cardstud: then went back to my area da7cardstud: so i sat down and started writin a poem about her

palkpal1: just she if she wants to go to the movies da7cardstud: I had a dream that I asked her out and she was like "busy" and then I proposed another time and she was like "always busy for you"

spanki49: once i commmit to a team, thats it spanki49: im not back out for a girl palkpal1: so if your gf was like boston or me palkpal1: u would pick boston spanki49: obv